Let's meet 3 months later okay?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

It's 4.01 a.m and I can't sleep!!! Spending my time with Winner. Who's Winner? You'd better check out YG Entertainment's new group Winner. Actually I first know them from the title song of their debut album, Empty.

and I was like "Okay I don't like this rookie group that slays all trophies in music shows but the intro of the song is cool"

Turns out I'm being a HUUUUGGGGGEEEE fan of Winner right now. Aha! Tambah lah part Lee Seunghoon was born exactly on 11 January. Same birth date as me yawwww!

Kalau cakap pasal Winner memang tak berhenti. They're like the real superstars. The idols that endure hardships and obstacles to rise on top right now. And for sure, I wanna be like them. Endure hardships and rise to be on top in my specialty. Hehe :D

Mak cakap minat jangan obses. Tak obses, admire je.

Erm, oh yeah I forgot to announce my freedom! Yeah its been exactly 10 days since my last paper of SPM. Daebak soalan tahun ni. Gotta pray hard so that I'll manage to get a great result later.

Not so many things happened since masa sangatlah sedikit untuk berjimba. Like 10 hari je kot. Balik kampung bagai dah berapa hari. But seriously I enjoyed the 10 days I got.

Got to watch The Hunger Games 3 Part 1 dengan my very best friend, BBQ party with my friends, lepak kat KFC dengan my two best friends and ofc, enjoying every single day being with my family.

Honestly, the more you realize you have very little time to spend for things, the better you manage it.

I didn't have the intention to make this a longggg entry but I really want to convey my feelings towards some people who I didn't get to do before.

To Khairin Rafiqah Amni and Ain Na Syafiqa, I'll miss you both. No other words. I'll just really miss the 3 of us.

To my two shoulders and lovely girls(?) who turn out to be my former English teacher and my dearest younger sister, Teacher Hashimah and Nur Diyanah Athirah. I'll definitely missing our story telling session.

and dik, I don't think u'd read this but thank you for the letter and sensible gift. I appreciate it very much. Thank youuu very very very very much for thinking highly of me. I never thought u'd do that since you're a much greater person than I am. But still. thank you :D

And for those who told me that they will certainly miss me, thank you and please wait for me. Thank you for the gifts. Thanks for love and care. I'll be going to live an independent live. Hah! daaa everyone!

Assalamualaikum

Nur Liyana Safwanah.
6.12.2014
4.21 pagi.

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Honestly

They said your feelings will fade as times pass by not seeing his face.

Well, I guess they were wrong.

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Fear not or regret later

SPM jeubal!

Assalamualaikum.
it's the third day of SPM. harini paper Mathematics.

Takut. Paper BM and BI cam hancur je.
Uarghhh I should kill myself and die in misery!!!!

Siapa tengok Nae Il Cantabile (Tomorrow Cantabile)?


It's actually a K-drama. I watch it to release the steam from stress of SPM. lgpun my most favourite actor is in it.


Versatile and capable actor, Joo Won!

 

Actually, I would like to highlight the main character's trauma. She hates scary teachers because she used to have one when she was a kid. Being called 'leftover', not many recognize her extraordinary talent. However, opportunities come and the professors in her college want to train her to be the world-famous pianist.

But the thing is, the best piano teacher is a scary teacher.

Honestly, I kinda have this kind of fear inside me. I always give up my dream because of scary teachers.

And I did gave up my actual dream recently.
 (and change it to what my parents would love me to be)

I'm not putting the blame on my teacher. No, teachers do nothing but to teach and develop me to become better.

 But then, I guess the problem is me.

Too scared to do wrongly in what I'm good at and love to do. Consequently, I lose interest. Typical antic of a type O blood.


Anyway, please watch for those who don't because u definitely will be captivated by soothing and impeccable sounds of classical music!

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Minggu depan SPM dan ada orang cari pasal

Assalamualaikum

Next week saya digraduasikan dan 4 days later saya akan sit paper BM untuk SPM.












Cuak tak?


Penat dah rasa cuak, takut, seram sejuk, stressed, nak muntah..semua dah rasa

Sekarang just chillax dan do my best.

Oh anyway, the reason I'm writing an entry is to voice out my dissatisfaction towards this one particular guy.

Why?
Takde pe..

Just nak cakap, I hate orang yang tahpape. Any relationship is all about mutualism which involve give and take. Waima friendship pun. In my case friendship lah since tak kawin lagi besides I have no issues with my parents. Dah kalau asyik aku yg yield and approach first, tak ke things look awkward? Please, do have some common sense.


Kata kawan. Janganlah selfish



Nah Youngjae untuk ceriakan hari-harimu

Doakan SPM Nur Liyana Safwanah ok? Assalamualaikum

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Fangirling mode activated

Assalamualaikum

Gyaaahhh~~~
Seperti mana yang telah disebut dalam title entry kali ini..yeah I'm fangirling woot hahaha

Warning. Stop judging and please don't be stereotype

Why?
Because K-POP haters always label K-POP fans as obsessive, immature, day-dreamer, perverts and stuffs. Oh yeah, gays too (for male fans)

TBH I haven't really care much about K-idols since I was 15 because I was maturing and I was changing to be better so I thought that a fan girl image didn't suit my new image. In fact it is. Tell me where on Earth will be people who wear tudung labuh and abaya and go cheering for their favourite idols in the airports? Trust me. There won't be any.

Nevertheless I'm not saying I'm that kind of fan. I'm just a K-drama addict (can't live without one) who loves arts.

Music is an art. Beauty too. Do not forget dance. K-idols just got all these. What can I do other than loving them?  (Haha well said!)

The latest idol group that I've been fangirling these days is this

GOT7

These boys are too dorky and very good in martial arts dance. They have addictive laugh too. I don't really fall into their sweetness or cuteness or talents or handsome faces (must admit they are really handsome) but I think these guys deserve attentions. Maybe because they have all things I mentioned but nah...it's not that really.

The thing is, this is my way to get out of stress. I've been facing worst days ever in my life where I wake up in the morning finding myself saying

"What will you do if your SPM is not great? Will u disappoint your parents that bad?"

So, watching these boys in Real GOT7 where they joke and laugh like hell (seriously my tummy hurts just by watching the way they laugh), I found myself laughing and smiling again.

I believe one day I might be neglecting these boys because I am already happy at that time. When this thing actually happens later, I hope this entry will still be here so that I won't forget who are my life saviour. 

Thank you guys for making me smile. 

SPOILER: just found out that BamBam and Yugyeom is younger than me by months (born is same year). I'm old now! :(

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Life is but to be appreciated

Assalamualaikum semua

Gloomy..gloomy days they were and gloomy days ahead..I suppose

What a dull muqaddimah. I'm sorry. Let me start again

Whoa this bitter medicine just kicked off my taste bud. Dying from the bitterness already.

Yorobun, annyeoghaseyo..lamo dok nuleh yo.

Just finished watching a drama. IDK when will it be ending but I hope it's a 40 something-episode-length drama. Why? Because I can enjoy it after my hell-like SPM!!!

Yes, hell-like. Why? Because I'm doing something that I don't enjoy.


STUDYING THINGS I'M NOT GOOD IN.


TBH, I've been keeping this since I was in Form 4. Why bother getting yourself into pure science stream when you know the subjects require your calculative skills and that is the biggest weakness of yours?!! (other than not being able to be feminine enough) but for the sake of my interest in Biology and pride of being a straight A's student in PMR, I dared myself to enter the hell.

...and wallah! here I am. shattered into pieces already.

blah blah blah. SPM is only a month away and you're saying this now? die already lah..your trial result wasn't that great anyway. Now you get it huh? Being shameful of yourself, keep thinking you're useless brat and having to look up to everyone because they're so much better than you, haven't you had enough? Where's your sense of motivation? Why can't u be motivated?!!

Because I am a realistic person. I look up only on things that I believe I can achieve and do things that I'm good in. My dream is not that big either.

I want to fly to London, study TeSL there, be a proud daughter of my parents, repay their kindness and sacrifices and give happiness to my family.

What I want to do? Simple. I just want to be a good teacher. No matter what title I hold, lecturer or just your common English teacher, I want to be someone that can contribute and give love to others while doing thing that I love, language.


What I want is just to enjoy what I do and find happiness in even simplest and tiniest thing in my life.

Because life is to be appreciated.

...and our destiny won't end here. We still have the world Hereafter. 

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Orang tua-tua cakap jangan ketawa banyak

Assalamualaikum..

Minggu lepas dah exam pra-trial. Cerita dia, I wasn't ready at all so I'm getting ready to accept any result later.

Bahasa Inggeris terabur. Lantak pi

Orang tua-tua kata jangan ketawa banyak nanti menangis. Semalam ketawa banyak, tak lama lepas tu rasa nak nangis.

Perkara 1.

 Iftar bersama Team Drama semalam. Kesayangan. I handled the event and alhamdulillah it went smoothly. We were having fun and tetibe tak terjangka pun ada sorang makhluk Allah berbuka di tempat yang sama. Mula-mula terkejut. Lepastu relaks. Buat muka biasa. Gurau-gurau dengan Pae. Tutup-tutup muka konon malu dengan makhluk Allah tu sedangkan niat cuma bergurau dengan Pae kat sebelah. Harap dia tak perasan.

Entah kenapa balik rumah rasa nak menangis. Mungkin sedih atau marah. Yaa..aku marah dengan dia atas perbuatan dia yang mengaibkan aku. Aku rasa maruah sebagai perempuan dicarik-carik macam tu je.

Kau tahu, budak sekolah kau yang sampaikan autograph tu dah pandang aku macam perempuan jijik. Sama je macam peminat-peminat kau yang aku kategorikan sebagai lalat-lalat yang menghurung sampah. Tak cakap kau sampah tapi sifat kerumun tu yang layak dilabel sampah. Aku tahu kau ada reputasi tapi kau jangan lupa siapa aku kat sekolah aku. Nama bapa aku tu puas aku jaga dengan baik. Kau rosakkan macam tu je depan budak sekolah kau.

Aku tak tahu macam mana aku akan respond bila raya nanti kau minta maaf. Aku jenis menangis bila marah. Aku harap kau tak muncul dah depan aku. Cukup sampai masa tu berlalu dan aku boleh lupakan kata-kata kau yang macam pisau tu.

Yup, aku kecewa dengan kau. Aku tak expect akan ada seorang lagi kawan yang hancurkan hati aku yang ikhlas berkawan. Titik. Sampai sini je. Aku serik.

Perkara 2

Aku ada 'anak ikan' kat sekolah tu. Maksudnya budak lower form yang saja-saja buat crush. Setiap tahun tukar. Dari form 2 lagi. Saja, hiburkan hati. Kita kan taknak couple? Suka boleh kan? Tahun ni, aku dapat tahu raaaaaaaaaaaamai suka 'anak ikan' aku sejak aku heret dia masuk drama. K mengaku budak drama.

Bila dah tahu, alaahaaaiiiii tak special-nya lah dia tu. Pula hari ni dengar nama dia naik dalam senarai budak couple kat sekolah tu. Dahlah awek dia tu tak comel. Jatuh value dia di mata aku.

Mulalah teringat adik angkat kat Johor yang baik dan alim tu. Tak sangka ada adik angkat yang way much better than crushes 'anak ikan' aku selama 4 tahun ni.

Penat dah main-mainkan hati sendiri. Ikhlas, dipersia. Suka, dikecewa. Hidup memang satu ujian.

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Dah matang dah.

Assalamualaikum

Berganjak ke usia 17 tahun, banyak proses yang dilalui
Proses kematangan

Belajar untuk hadapi realiti. SPM tu realiti kehidupan. Satu ujian yang kita kalau boleh taknak hadapi sebab perit mak aii tapi kena juga hadap. Sebab apa? Sebab kita dah tak boleh lari dari masalah.

Dulu, form 4..tak siap homework taknak datang sekolah.
Stress, taknak datang sekolah.
Gaduh, taknak datang sekolah.

Sekarang, form 5..tak siap homework pandai-pandai curi masa antara pertukaran cikgu untuk siapkan
Tak datang sekolah, ada subjek penting. Addmath, Kimia..kalau tak masuk cerita dia peninglah bila ulang kaji.

Dah masuk 17 tahun mula simpan misi dan visi kehidupan. Nak masuk universiti mana, nak ambil course apa, nak jadi apa..

Tapi satu perkara seronok bila dah masuk 17 tahun, kita boleh bincang hal dewasa dengan ayah, dengan ibu. Perancangan untuk break 3 bulan lepas SPM, perancangan untuk qada' tidur dan masa bermain yang tertangguh sebelum SPM.

Paling rasa dah matang, bila kita mula cakap pasal kahwin dengan ibu. Eh gatal. Haa, mentaliti tu tolong perbetul okey?

Ibu kata doa dengan Allah awal-awal moga jodoh kita ni apa yang kita rasa kita nak. Tak salah nak demand asal rasa diri tu layak untuk demand. Ibu kena ajar anak sulung dia jaga diri, betulkan niat, pilih betul-betul. Universiti dan dunia luar banyak dugaan. Ibu taknak sehari masuk U, esok telefon nak kahwin.

"Sebenarnya jodoh kita ni kita boleh rasa. Macam ibu, ibu tak suka lelaki merokok. Padahal masa tu ibu berkawan dengan lelaki yang hisap rokok. Alhamdulillah, ibu jumpa lelaki yang tak hisap rokok"

So, selain kriteria seorang suami yang baik iaitu beragama, semat satu lagi sifat yang kita rasa sesuai untuk kita supaya kita tak mudah terleka dengan lelaki-lelaki lain yang tak menepati ciri-ciri yang kita nak.

As for me...erm, biarlah simpan dalam hati. Special sikit ciri tu.

Tapi kalau ibu dan ayah nak carikan, silakan...anakmu mengalu-alukan. Moga pilihan yang diredhai membawa keberkatan.

Sekian :)

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Selfish

Assalamualaikum

Dah mula bergolak balik hati ni. Serba serbi buat tak betul. Yelah, perbuatan diselangi dengan rasa bersalah.

Rasa bersalah sebenarnya bila ada seorang kawan lama yang baik dengan aku dulu tegur tapi kita buat dekkk je. Kenapa? Kita tak suka apa dia dah buat. Tapi he has no idea on what's happening. Dia tetap senyum and panggil

 "Liyana...Liyana...Yana...pandanglah sini..Liyana..cakaplah dengan aku"

Dalam hati,

"Derrr...janganlah buat aku rasa macam watak antagonis kat sini"

BTW derr, aku just nak kau tau yang...kau selfish.

Kau nak kasih sayang dia.
Kau nak perhatian dia.
Kau nak dia.

Tapi sayang semua tu milik orang lain. Tapi kau dah curi semua benda tu.

Kasih sayang dia, kau dapat.
Perhatian dia, kau dapat.
Dia, sorry kau tak dapat.

Dan aku berada di pihak yang menganalisis perkara dari dua-dua belah pihak. Kau dan yang berhak. Sayang aku simpati lebih kepada yang berhak.

Kesimpulannya, bagi aku masa nak cakap dengan kau. I'm afraid that I'd speak up the truth to you and everything will be ruined. You'll be in despair again and come up with ridiculous decisions. Penat dengan sikap kengkonon matang kau tu.

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Cinta hati baru

Assalamualaikum

Dah bulan 6.
Sekejap je masa berlalu kan?
4 5 bulan dah SPM. Yet here, I'm surfing the Internet dengan laghanya.
Ah, bila lagi nak relaks. Hectic much dah dunia aku 2 minggu ni.

Result mid-year exam dah dapat. Tak dapat capai target tapi alhamdulillah ada banyak peningkatan. Hope so much for a huge leap of success for the upcoming pre-trial. Tatowt sangat ni actually.

Yet, in a midst of busy life and chaotic days I still managed to find some times doing things I love and had been my passion since I first entered it in 2011.

English drama! :D

Tapi kalini tak berlakon. Watak yang ditawarkan tak sesuai dengan imej baru Nur Liyana Safwanah. uhuk uhuk koya sangat. However amanah kalini berat. I'm the director yawww! Managing director which means hal ehwal actor and prop people terletak atas bahu gua.

This drama seriously reminds me to days when I was Puteh, one of the characters in Tenggang drama. Our relationship was like families. We were close and we cared a lot to each other. Sekarang ramai yang dah bersepah-sepah. Melaka, Jengka and many other places. Ambil tahu juga pasal diri masing-masing tapi dah lama tak dengar khabar berita. :(

Tak sangka boleh kembali berkasih sayang dalam 1 keluarga yang besar. Berasa jadi sunbae yang care to hoobae. Walaupun ada 2 je junior perempuan.

Although we were not able to tie a deeper relationship as a drama family, hope we appreciate our meeting and may our moments remain sweet in our hearts. Beyond Words drama team, hwaiting! :D

Eddy's (which was the name of Danial's character in the drama) birthday celebration.

Unfortunately Mother (by Ieda) was sick and couldn't join us. Syafakillah our Mother ! 

2 big families. Love em'

Selfie at the competition venue

Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.

Sai Baba

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Jari nak patah

Assalamualaikum

Musim exam. Wuu..exam tak exam I'm still lazy-ing  myself...TV couching..surfing..doing weird stuffs such as watching make-up tutorials?

Okay, snap out of it.

Today was the examination day for History. Paper 2 and Paper 3 which had made my precious fingers to nearly broken like seriously I've been writing non-stop for 2 hours and half + another 3 hours for Paper 3. Homaigawd this is the reality of SPM candidates. I  know the others understand this feeling too, right?

Fuh! BTW I really missed hitting the alphabets on the keyboards and writing my thoughts and feelings. It had been 2 months when I last wrote something up here. I did write something on my personal diary but it's too private to share here with the readers. (is there even a reader here?) Well, yeah. I think I've been babbling to myself what happened, what I felt and bla bla bla and when I read it back, my impression was like,

Well then, I don't care.

Okay..back to the point on why I am here today.

My life is now as hectic as much right now. <---IDK if this phrase is correct.
Quite busy for classes and practices yet I think I got enough time be lazy-ing around, still. Hmm, that's quite confusing.

Nevertheless, when you imagine about how heavenly it'll be when all these sufferings end one day, you'll get your motivation back, get spirited and ready to go all way through the end.

That is PERSEVERANCE .

Okay byee...got to persevere well to bear sweet fruits in future. Love u all who read and wish u sweetest days ahead. Assalamualaikum ^_^

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It's already March

March,
Banyak benda berlaku
Nak cerita satu-satu ada pengsan depan laptop
Satulah..tahun ni bagai ada satu ketakutan
Ketakutan kerana belum bersedia..hmm

March, UPT1 dah bermula
Nazar dipasak, azam ditanam
Moga Allah bantu

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Baca jangan tak baca! Muchos gracias kerana automatically turut doakan saya :D

1. 9A SPM
2. A+ in English, Biology, Pendidikan Agama Islam, Bahasa Melayu dan History.
3. Study overseas
4. English teacher

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, kurniakanlah nikmat-Mu dengan memberikan Nur Liyana Safwanah bt Azman 9A+ dalam SPM serta dapat membanggakan ibu-bapa dan guru-gurunya.

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Happy Birthday to me

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahiwabarakatuh

Hello hai it's 2014 finally and I'm facing SPM this year! :( Seramnya. Anyway, I need to spend a lil' bit of my time on writing an entry for my special birthday edition! :D

Nothing much, tak ramai yang wish because I private kan tarikh lahir and gender kan FB. Twitter pun bukannya spesies kecoh-kecoh pasal birthday orang ni. Hee. Tapi tahun ni best sangat birthday saya!

Aniq and Syahmi belanja kat Jentayu Kopitiam. To tell the truth I don't feel very well. My stomach lah buat hal. Still having diarrhea because of my migraine pills. Side effect lah kiranya. So I don't eat rice. Jumaat I forced myself to eat some because I didn't eat for two days already. Hari-hari sebelum tu lagilah teruk memang apa yang makan keluar balik. Sedih betul. Luckily lah Jumaat tu I was okay tapi malam tu nak makan nasi memang tak boleh semula. Sob sob.

Semalam, was my birthday! So me, Fina, Amir and my sister Diyanah went for a date kat bandar Muadzam Shah yang terrrrchenntaaa. Sebelum tu makan kat Jentayu dulu. Aniq and Syahmi belanja saya je sepatutnya but then I asked them to treat for kitorang berempat (me, Fina, Amir and Diyanah) punya beverages. Makan kitorang bayar sendiri. Alhamdulillah my diarrhea got better sebab tak keluar balik apa yang saya makan that day. Syukur. Anyway, it was an exciting and a fun outing. Seriously. Sorry takde gambar. Masing-masing tak pakai fon mahal. Seriously.

Then, malam tu a wish from someone unexpected menjengah fon my mom. It was my ex-boyfriend's mom. Terkejut Ya Allah! Makcik tu memang baik dengan saya sebab saya memang selalu fight result dengan ex-bf saya tu dulu. Tapi dia tak tahu kitorang PERNAH couple dulu. Cerita lama. Tapi terharulah jugak...

then...akhirnya someone yang ditunggu-tunggu call juga. It was Suhail, anak Teacher Shima yang sekolah kat SHAH Pekan and muda 2 tahun dari saya. Borak borak and he sang a birthday song for me. Untunglah suara sedap and penyanyi sekolah! But rather than that, I was very thankful he remembered my birthday. Hee :D

Anyway, ni birthday presents yang I dapat. Teacher said hers will be coming soon. Malam ni katanya..

 Memula I asked my mom supaya tak payah beli cake. I nak ikan patin bakar tempoyak. My favourite but since I don't eat rice really well my mom belikan juga benda ni. Thanks a lot. Chocolate moist cake. Yummy :D

 Ni hadiah dari orang Kuantan. POLAR BEAR!! Yeah :D Tahun lepas dia bagi buku juga. Tahu dah kot saya ni hantu buku.

Front page view. You can't imagine punyalah dia khianat even nak bagi hadiah pun dia balut berapa lapis and siap kotak padahal isi dia apa je...sabar jelah kat kawan kita sorang ni












More photos on my Instagram @yanawanaa. Thanks for the wishes! :D May you all lead this year with happiness and barakah in shaa Allah.

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