Assalamualaikum
Around this time last year was the last entry I posted. I don't know why I stopped writing. I hate the fact that a long time ago Safwanah was a well-read girl who writes a lot. I probably need to step up my game. Everyone starts from nonsense. That so-called nonsense will somehow make sense one day (in most cases).
It's really been a while and I've missed writing. By writing, I meant to express my thoughts and feelings. I've been missing the passion for some fiction writing though. Sigh. I haven't been reading enough, therefore, there's nothing much in my head right now.
Do you guys know that Safwanah has changed a lot? I'm not sure with the mature part but how I think and view things, my stances, and a bit of personality have changed.
I don't know what should I feel about this but I believe in the saying that people change, and people make other people change. So, expect the unexpected.
Sometimes I wonder, I keep forgetting about the existence of this blog but no matter how many times it has been abandoned and neglected, I keep coming back to it, browsing and scrolling through all the childish but passionate entries.
I don't mind if no one is reading my entries except for me. It's better actually because I only write for myself and I'm more free to write whatever and whenever I feel like to.
While looking back at all posts and diary-like entries, I found that most of them are my puppy love stories which I find embarrassing but too precious to be deleted as they are the ones that helped to shape me to how I am today. They mold my hearts, scratch me so that I know how to treat my wounds and allow me to grow and escape those childish moments.
However, note that I'm not back because I'm devastated again, no, I've learned my lessons. Things are going well with my love life. Because there's only me in there. I learned to become selfish. Do everything for the sake of self-betterment. It's me, my family, my religion. All with ME, MY, and I inside it. I've tried to give out my heart like I used before. I tried, tried harder but unconsciously pulled back harder too because wounds had taught me anxiety.
I'm doing great with my life right now. It might rock here and there but all is well. Graduating next year which is sad and glad at the same time. Meh I'll come back later with more stories. In shaa Allah. See you soon pinky. I hope I won't forget about you anymore.
Love,
NLS
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